


every ounce of confidence

by CapnShellhead



Category: Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Coming Out, M/M, Online Dating, Pining, Spoilers for Tony Stark: Iron Man #4, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-24 23:27:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16185428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapnShellhead/pseuds/CapnShellhead
Summary: Steve finds the courage to sign up for a dating site and receives notice of a rather unlikely match.





	every ounce of confidence

**Author's Note:**

> So, Tony Stark: Iron Man #4 was a fount of so many wonderful things! I wrote this immediately after reading it!
> 
> I may actually expand on this later but, for now, using for the "stream of consciousness" square on my Stony Bingo card. 
> 
> The title, rather cheesily, comes from "For You I Will" because the lyrics fit pretty well.

Steve wasn’t desperate.

Not that he thought everyone using dating apps were, of course. It’s just… he never saw himself as the type to invest in something like that. He still firmly believed in meeting people organically: in a coffee shop, on the street, maybe even in a bar. Sure, he’d met Sharon on the job but he’d met Bernie out in the real world. Steve still believed people still met the great loves of their life completely by chance. But the job didn’t give him much time for chance these days.

If he was being completely honest with himself, it never really had.

The alert had popped up on his phone on his way back from the boxing ring. He’d never admit it if asked but, he’d had a Google alert for Tony’s name set up ages ago. Kate Bishop had helped him set it years back and, thankfully, she hadn’t bothered to ask Steve why he wanted it. Perhaps, it was out of respect or because Steve’s face had been rather red during the entire process.

That day, it had been alert from TMZ and Steve was sorely tempted to ignore it completely except, the headline caught his attention. “New York’s Most Eligible Bachelor Tony Stark Looking for Love?”

Steve sat down on the bench, scrolling through the article as he took a long drag from his water bottle. It wasn’t much of an article; stating only that Tony had signed up for Make-A-Match and all signs pointed to a legitimate profile. Tony truly was on the market. For a moment, Steve wondered if it was a gimmick, though he didn’t see why Tony would throw Baintronics a bone. He read through the short piece once more, ignoring the sinking feeling in his chest.

He didn’t quite understand it: he should be happy for Tony. Happy that he was making a positive step in his life. Happy that he was focused on finding someone new. He’d always seemed to need that over the years. Or, at least, he’d chased it in a way Steve never really had. The papers criticized his “wandering eye” and paid very little attention to him when he’d found himself in steady relationships. There’d been Rumiko, Amara, and even Pepper for a while there. None of them had ended well and Tony used to joke that he was just better at the chase but Steve knew the truth.

Tony Stark was a romantic at heart. None of those relationships had ended well but, Steve was also willing to bet they hadn’t ended because Tony wanted to end them. One of his best and worst qualities was holding onto things, long past when they’d stopped being worthy of holding on to. Steve understood it; it was near impossible to live the lives they led without losing people over the years. To the job, to rifts, to life in general. It made them even more determined to hang onto the people they still had.

So, Tony had tried out this dating site and Steve couldn’t imagine he’d attach his name to it without a reason. Maybe it was worth checking out? Just to see what the fuss was.

The app was fairly simple to navigate. He wavered on what picture to use. The goal was honesty, right? The verification process was rather stringent and there wouldn’t be a point in applying at all if he hid his face. He chose a simple picture of himself in a ball cap, nothing too showy and moved on to the questions.

He zipped through the survey rather quickly: he liked the outdoors, his job came first, he didn’t smoke, and he didn’t often drink. He was a little surprised by how detailed some of the questions were: what did he value the most in himself? Did he expect those qualities of others?

Finishing up, he scrolled down to the preferences section, his heart rate ticking up. A few decades ago, he would have checked “women” and moved right along. In fact, that’s what he intended to do. His thumb hovered over the check box as that quiet voice in the back of his mind made itself known, once more. He found himself wavering, a nervous fluttering in his stomach.

An unknown calm settled over him and he sat up straighter in his chair, checking the box. Swallowing, he steeled himself and clicked “submit”.

He setting his phone aside and tugged at his hair frustratedly, his several thoughts warring in his mind. He was taking one hell of a risk. Should he actually get matched, the person could decide to sell this story to the press. They’d make a pretty penny and the public would certainly have a lot to say. They always had when it came to deciding who Captain America was supposed to be. And now, after everything that had been done in his name, Steve was facing severer public scrutiny.

Sighing, he slid a hand over his face as that familiar unease started to set in. He was Captain America. The job was the job. It had to take precedence over everything else. He’d always believed that but… he wasn’t just Captain America. He had wants; he had a  _ life _ . He gave so much of himself to commit wholeheartedly to the shield that, should he really feel guilty for trying to grab just a bit of what everyone else had? And as for who he was “supposed” to be… should he be made to feel guilty because he wasn’t the man they thought he was? Should he be ashamed of who he was?

Simply put, the public didn’t know who he was anymore. He could reinvent. He could start over. He could stay the same. Whatever he chose, he’d just put himself in a very public database on a snap decision.

He squeezed his eyes shut, his insides twisting as he felt his face warm. What had he done? This was going to make the papers no matter the outcome. Should he meet some nice man, he’d want to go someplace public. Of course, he would; there was the chance Steve wasn’t who he said he was and, even then, it was just safer. How stupid had he been thinking he could do this quietly? What gave him that idea?

He buried his face in his hands, taking deep measured breaths. Then there was a quiet  _ ping _ .

Swallowing nervously, he reached for his phone. “(1) message from Make-A-Match." His hands started to sweat as he forced himself to open the message. “SRogers44, meet your match!”

Steve’s breath caught, hands clenched painfully tight around his phone. He would know that face anywhere: those clever blue eyes framed by beautiful dark lashes, the aristocratic nose and teasing grin.

Tony.

+

It was cold out. One of the cooler falls they’d had in a while.

Steve tugged on his shirt for the hundredth time, feeling too big for his skin. He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous; this was all an elaborate joke. The odds of Tony’s actual profile matching with Steve’s was ridiculously slim. He was one of the most famous faces on the planet and it was public knowledge that he had a profile. Chances were, some wise guy copied Tony’s profile picture and set up a fake account to trick poor, hopeless fools like Steve.

Even so, Steve had set a date and time. He’d put on one of his nicer button-downs and a pair of jeans. He made it halfway down the block before he stopped and tucking in his shirt. Another few steps and he pulled out his shirt tails once more, chiding himself.

This was ridiculous. He was only setting himself up for disappointment. But, as much as Steve doubted Tony would really be waiting for him at the coffee shop… there was a chance he might be? Right?

Steve showed up a few minutes late, a first for him. If his theory proved correct, he wouldn’t feel bad for standing up an imposter. The coffee shop on 44 th avenue had a large, storefront window. Big enough to see all the way through to the back from the street. Steve came up on it slow, shoving his nervous hands in his pockets. Steeling himself, he forced himself to keep moving, more uncertain than he’d ever been going into battle.

The window came into view and Steve scanned the shop, his trying to temper the hope threatening to take hold of him. He looked to the fourth table from the back, the one closest from the wall. The one beneath the portrait of the founding Avengers. The table they’d agreed upon but, a redhead sat beneath it, tapping away on her phone. Steve’s face fell, his stomach twisting as he turned to go.

The redhead’s face lit up in a smile as she reached out for a coffee. A black woman leaned over and kissed her lips, moving to the next table to retrieve a chair. Steve watched, his eyes sliding over to the next table over.

His breath caught, heart skipping a beat as he watched Tony glare at a silver napkin dispenser, checking his teeth in the reflection. He frowned adorably, holding the dispenser closer before setting it down and nearly knocking over the mug beside it. He stumbled for a moment, trying to right the dispenser and knocking the cup precariously close to the edge. He hurried to right it, the table shifting dangerously as he stood up too quickly.

Steve’s eyes softened, watching as Tony sat down with a sheepish smile to the patrons on either side of him. He sat down, glancing around the shop before he fiddled with his cufflinks. Even from his place outside, Steve could make out the small, circular, red, white and blue pins, the corner of his mouth turning up despite the nervous quelling in his stomach

His heart beat fast in his chest as he watched Tony run his fingers through his hair. Tony was beautiful. He always had been. Over the years, he’d gone through several different looks; changing with the times where Steve chose to relatively stay the same. Now, it was an artfully messy style, a short cut, perfect for the shape of his face. Clad in a dark, navy blazer and grey slacks, a crisp white shirt peeked out from his collar. Even pouting, even glaring at himself in the dim reflection of a napkin dispenser, Tony was beautiful.

Steve watched him fuss with his hair for a moment longer, his lip caught between his teeth. Tony was clearly nervous and it gave Steve pause. It was almost like he was worried about the outcome of this night. Because this was actually a date. This was really happening.

Another thought occurred, one that gave that stubborn seed of hope more sunlight to grow. Tony wouldn’t have been matched with Steve at all if he hadn’t opened his profile up to men. Which meant, Tony wasn’t as straight as Steve thought he was.

This wouldn’t just be a date; meeting Tony here would confirm what Steve had always kept hidden about himself. If he went through with this, not only would the public know the truth, but Tony would, too. And from there, it wasn’t exactly a stretch to figure out the rest, was it?

The way Steve always treated Tony different from the rest of his friends. The way Steve had always focused more on Tony and singled him out when the group was in discord. The way Steve never truly felt centered when things were bad between them. The way Tony siding against him always felt like betrayal. The way fighting with Tony had always hurt more. The way he’d always held Tony to higher standards than he’d held anyone else.

The way he referred to Sam and Bucky as his closest friends but Tony had always been something more. They’d called it partners; called it brothers, two sides of the same coin.

Anything to avoid that Steve looked to Tony and felt a pull unlike anything he’d felt. The draw that kept him coming back after fight, after fight, after fight. Kept him coming back chasing that fire only Tony seemed to inspire. The drive that brought out the fight in him just as much as it calmed him. Call it teamwork, partnership, fraternity, camaraderie. Call it anything but what it was.

They had so much history between them. More than their start, the issue with Tony’s armor, that time Tony messed with Steve’s (and the rest of the world’s) memories, Extremis, the war, Tony’s memory loss and everything that had followed. How could they forgo all of that? Even just for one night?

Coming out really was the last of Steve’s worries.

He’d started to lose his nerve, his breath quickening as he curled an arm over his stomach, turning away from the window. He didn’t just have the two of them to think about: there was the team to think about. It wasn’t perfect but they were  _ trying _ . For the first time in years, they were really trying. Tony and he were on good enough terms that they were able to work together again. If this night ruined things between them, Steve would lose the team again and he couldn’t do that.

He covered his eyes, his chest tightening as he steeled himself to start back towards his place. He’d send Tony a message. It was the least he could do.

He dropped his hand, stealing one last glance when a movement caught his eye. Tony was hunched over the table, no thought for what he looked like to the patrons around him. He was checking his hair for what had to be the fourteenth time since Steve had been standing here. The pout had been replaced by a look of tempered resignation as he pulled at one stubborn lock of hair in front. It was barely noticeable yet Tony resolutely kept working at it, his tongue poking out of his mouth as he focused. As though anyone else would look at him and be able to tell.

And just like that, Steve felt himself calm. A fond warmth bloomed in his chest as he hid a smile and watched Tony set the dispenser down one more.

Only to reach for it again, two seconds later.

It startled a laugh out of Steve and he covered his mouth, glancing around at the passerby. The hope he’d buried resolutely climbed to the surface, stubborn and unyielding.

This was huge; for both of them. There were still so many variables to think about and quite a few Steve was sure he hadn’t even considered. This could ruin them; or it could save them. It could be a little bit of both and a hell of a lot of pain.

But for Tony, Steve was willing to take the risk.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Visit me on [tumblr](https://capn-shellhead.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
